The collecter
by t3h maniac
Summary: Yuffie is known for her materia collection. But it's not the only thing she wants all of after Tifa gives her an unexpected gift. Rated M for lots of reasons. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**The Collector**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Don't sue. I have nothing to sue for.**

**Summary: Technically a sequel to "A Twist to the Tale". Yuffie is well known for her materia collection, but its not the only collection she has. Dun-dun-DUN!**

**A/N: And you lot thought the previous story was weird.**

**---**

_Re-life sucks._

_The ghosts tell you you'll like being dead, its as boring as hell. Then when you decide to come back to life for one last sprint at glory and WHAM! Someone shoves a sword in your face._

_Then you think to yourself: "Okay so that time didn't work out, but next time it'll be better, just be more subtle and don't go for the big entrance accompanied by the orchestra this time." Sure, for a few weeks it was awesome, I was getting laid, getting drunk but then the whole "Vengeance drive" kicks in and I go out for revenge._

_So what was the big plan this time? Kidnap and rape the lover. Only she knocks me out, drags me to some basement and uses a fucking manipulate materia to mind-fuck me!_

_Fuck that fucking piece of materia! I fucking hate it! AAGRHH!_

_But she didn't kill me! She released me. Big mistake, or so I thought._

_Once again I was trapped beneath her, my consciousness fading, desperation on her face and her exposed breasts moving up and down…up and down… up and down…moving with her heavy breaths perfectly…_

_Come to think of it if that was my last view in the world I would have been satisfied. Seriously, I can honestly say now that they are NOT fakes. She is one lucky girl._

_But now I'm bound and gagged _again_ and she's placed me in a small box. I can barely breath in here bitch! Wait, did I just skip a whole bit of my memory? As though my subconscious is telling me that certain things should not resurface?_

_Where the fuck am I?_

Sephiroth continued his internal monologue for the duration of the journey, but it wasn't as if Tifa noticed him, she was finally going to be rid of him for, well, not for good because even if he died he'd probably come back due to the planets aligning or some other bad plot device. Maybe one featuring

She was heading to Yuffie's because she was now one of the other people Sephiroth had been forced to fear. She was at sometimes a complete sadist, she'd go to northern crater only to slice a Dark Dragon in two and come back coated in its blood with an evil smile. At other times she was still that immature little thief, and even occasionally she was serious and responsible. But she was always there and could always do what was needed when it was needed.

She would be perfect, plus if ever Tifa felt the urge she could always crack out the whip and go visit. She quickly shook the thought from her head remembering that Cloud would really be disappointed in her if she fell back into these ways.

Cloud still held a degree of authority in the household even if she was the one who wore the pants in the family.

That thought gave her a little giggle, Barret made that joke every time he was round and neither kid was in earshot about Cloud being Tifa's bitch. And every time he was subsequently punched in the jaw by Cloud.

Anyway, back to reality. After 20 minutes of hearing subsequent "Ouch" sounds from Sephiroth every time she turned a corner. She made it to Yuffie's apartment.

"Teef!" Yuffie shouted as she squeezed the older woman "How've you been?"

There was really no point wasting any time, Yuffie's curiosity would get the better of her and she'd find out. Looking to see if Reno or Vincent was with her she whispered "Sephiroth came back."

Yuffie gasped then turned to laughing "Wow, that guy does not know when to quit and call it a day does he?"

"This is serious Yuffie!" Tifa said, placing her hands on her hips.

"What did you do to him this time? Cloud didn't kill him already did he?"

"No I got to him first, that's why I came to you." Tifa leaned in to whisper, "He's in a box in the truck, I need you to look after him."

"So you're giving me a Sephy pet?" Yuffie asked.

"What? Yuffie, your supposed to make sure he doesn't get out and cause more problems! Not treat him as a pet Alsatian."

"Okay, bring him in to the bedroom." Yuffie said, helping Tifa in with what seemed to be a very large and hefty box.

"Aww," Yuffie said looking in at Sephiroth, "He looks so innocent when he's helpless."

"Yeah well, he's yours. Don't tell Cloud about this Yuff. He'll get mad at me, I promised to stop doing stuff like this…" Tifa said, turning away to leave.

" 'S okay Teef. I'll take good care of him and keep him out of trouble." Yuffie said smiling.

"I'm trusting you Yuffie. Goodbye." Tifa waved before leaving, Yuffie waited until she heard the sound of the truck leaving. Withdrawing a shuriken from the top draw she cackled evily while standing over the bound general.

"Don't worry," she said with an evil smile, "Yuffie's going to take real good care with you. No sense in breaking my new toy now that I've just got it, is there?"

---

**I am in-fucking-sane.**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Collector**

**Chapter 2**

**The first chapter was just a continuation from "A Twist to the Tale." It is only going to get weirder from here on out.**

**Consider yourself warned.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was, I'd make millions by selling Sephiroth round to all the fan girls so they can personally torture him instead of Yuffie having to do it.**

**WARNING: This chapter contains some lemon, some torture and general sadistic insanity. So business as usual for this series then, with the addition of lemon. (It can't be worse than what I've already done here can it?)**

**---**

Yuffie was having the time of her life with Sephiroth.

Who'd have thought torture could be so much fun, now she knew why some of the Turks got their jobs. Although it was fun just to watch him squirm under the influence of the manipulate materia nothing could compare with dominating the one-winged angel personally.

Using the conformer she had carved out her initials into his backside, he was hers to use and abuse.

Currently she had him tied face up on the bed, the ropes restraining his limbs and a gag in his mouth.

"Mmm, that's big Seph, do you mind if I try it out?" Yuffie said inspecting his member. There was only a muffled response from the general. "I'll take that as a yes." she said, jumping onto the table. Pushing away her panties (the only article of clothing that remained for the both of them) she quickly mounted Sephiroth, making sure that the angle was right, started to slowly move up and down on his long shaft.

"ummm…" she groaned every time the movement hit a sweet spot. Her movements increased in pace. The muffled sounds of her prisoner only turning her on more she quickly placed her hand on her jewel and started to rub it furiously.

Screaming out the word "Fuck!" She came to a shuddering orgasm, pleasure written across her face yet this quickly turned to one of displeasure when Sephiroth followed suit a few seconds later.

"Did I give you permission to come, _pet_?" She asked while looking down on her new sex toy. Sephiroth slowly shook his head as the Wutain princess got off from him and grabbed his member forcefully.

"Next time you want to come," she said coolly taking the time to smack his balls, the cry of pain audible despite the gag "ask my permission." Her tone menacingly stern as she struck him in the same area again.

Taking her hands off from the general she proceeded to undo his gag, his breathing now heavy. "Lick." She commanded placing her entrance directly on his mouth forcing him to clean up his own doing.

"Since that was the first time, I'll let you off lightly. But if you so much as think about coming without my permission… especially if it's inside of me, lets see you try it without a penis." Sephiroth's eyes went wide with horror. She wouldn't! would she? After all that both Tifa and Yuffie did to him was he really prepared to accept that they'd stop just short of castration?

"No!" He coughed out prompting a slap across the face from his angry mistress.

"It seems like somebody wants to be a punching bag again." She fiercely stated before her phone went off.

'_Welcome to the jungle_

_We've got fun 'n' games_

_We got everything you want Honey, we know the names_

_We are the people that can find Whatever you may need _

_If you got the money, honey We got your disease…'_

"White rose of Wutai. Hey Reno! The movies? What we gonna see? Blech! I'm not going to watch that! Okay fine, but I get to choose what positions we do."

"Save m-!" Sephiroth tried to say before Yuffie quickly smothered his mouth with her free hand.

"_What's going on babe?_" Reno asked on the other end of the phone "_you torturing someone there? I know I've been slightly reluctant to go with the kinky shit but if your _that_ desperate…_"

"Shut up Reno!" Yuffie shouted into her mobile

"_ha, you know its cool if you do that to somebody, but you gotta let me have some of the same liberties girl. Some of my old girls are getting withdrawal symptoms and if your fooling around I can't use you as an excuse._"

"I'm not torturing anyone here! But I will _hurt _you if you don't shut up! But since you mentioned it… who can't keep their hands off my man?"

"_Thinking of getting a threesome partner?_"

"No, I just want to know who's house to burn down. Kidding! Maybe I am looking for a threesome partner."

"_Yuffie, you are phenomenal!"_

"I know, see you at 8 Turkey!" And with that she hung up and turned her gaze back to Sephiroth, her cheerful smile transforming into something much more sinister. "Lucky you. Now I have to fully clean up before I go out and that means I don't have time to punish you fully. But since you're already bound, I think it's safe for me to leave you like this until I get back."

Tightening the ropes so they joined behind his back, Yuffie stood up and left to take a shower, removing all evidence about what happened from her. Anything minor could be easily explained away to the Turk. Then a thought struck Yuffie.

Why have just one hot, male sex slave when there were several she could enslave many more to do her bidding. She could start a collection.

_Reno won't know what hit him _Yuffie thought to herself, sneaking in a shuriken and a portion of tranquilizer into her outfit.

---

**Warned you. This is probably going to be one of the sickest fics here, but I'm not sure whether this will be light for this fic or as extreme as it's going to get. A few reviews may help me decide on a path.**

**Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Me: Quiet you. Or do I have to bring Yuffie out here?**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Collector 3**

**A/N: Sephiroth deserves a break from the torture now, so I'm introducing Reno into the mix.**

**Reno: oh fuck no. I'm not into the heavy kinky shit!**

**Yuffie: What happened last night says otherwise.**

**Reno: Yeah but that was the non-psycho you who wouldn't actually hurt me during sex.**

**Yuffie: I love you Reno**

**Me: What about Vincent**

**Yuffie: He's too emo.**

**Vincent: I am not!**

**Yuffie: Prove it then**

**Vincent: How?**

**Yuffie: Join me and Reno for a threesome, he wont mind. He's bi.**

**Reno: coughSLUTcough**

**Yuffie: (Slices Reno open with conformer) Oh no you didn't!**

**Me: Right, I do not own any Final Fantasy character or location. Those guys and girl? They belong to Square-Enix. God help them.**

**Yuffie: (Twirling conformer menacingly) And what's _that_ supposed to mean?**

**Me: Uh oh.**

**---**

The Red-head waited in the lobby of the multiplex for what seemed to him like an eternity, and it wasn't just because he had the attention span of a… well… of a Reno. Yuffie was definitely late and unless she had a 'run in' with a shipment of materia it meant she was definitely up to something.

She had acted slightly nervous when he phoned him and he could have sworn he heard someone try and scream 'help me' on the phone before being cut off.

Now he knew that the hyperactive ninja could be as annoying better than most but her childish actions had some degree of appeal. He would call her cute if it wasn't for the fact that she had a nasty habit of knocking him out. Angry sex may be fun and all but when your talking about someone who knows how to kill a person with her hands in more ways than most Turks it was best not to risk it.

He was about to light a cigarette before remembering that you couldn't smoke in movie theatres in Edge. Walking out to a near by alleyway to relieve his cravings he felt himself having one arm placed around his eyes while the other the other coiled around his neck.

"Guess who?" Yuffie asked in a cheerful voice.

"Hey Yuff, where you been?" Reno asked back after Yuffie released him. She was wearing her trademark khaki shorts but her normal green top had been replaced with a red moogle print T-shirt. Reno couldn't help but snicker at the sight.

"For your information turkey, this was the only shirt I could find." She said with her hands on her hips causing Reno to break out into a full blown laughter.

After steadying himself he managed to say "Sorry, but you look so damn cute in that little moogle shirt." It took him 5 seconds to realise his mistake and another 10 to realise he'd been kicked squarely in the jaw while realising his original mistake.

"A ninja is NOT cute!" Yuffie said to the fallen Reno. "Now hurry up, I don't wanna miss the movie." She said turning to run back.

"I thought you didn't want to see it?" Reno asked, an slight hint of suspicion in his voice.

"Well…I.. umm… look, the sooner we get this over with the sooner I get to have some real fun." Yuffie quickly said. Reno shook his head and smiled in response.

"Babe, you are a gift from the Gods. Even if you are a fucking psycho."

---

Yuffie and Reno returned to the ninja's apartment laughing. Not so much at the recollections of the movie they watched together but for Yuffie setting what must have been a record for hitting the post people in the head with pieces of popcorn and nobody noticing it was her. Reno quickly dived for the mini fridge to take out a bottle of Tequila that he had left there from a previous night, he was about to take the first swig of the drink when Yuffie quickly made out with him, taking full advantage of the open mouth.

Reno put down the bottle on a counter so he could focus on the girl who's tongue was invading his mouth. The two spun around on the spot for a while, Reno pushing Yuffie onto the counter giving her the chance to pour a small vial of tranquilizer into the liquor. Breaking the embrace she pushed Reno back slightly and left with a seductive wink to her room. The red-head picked up the bottle again and took a small drink, trying to keep slightly sober so he would remember the events that would follow.

"Babe." He called to Yuffie while giving a confused look at the bottle in his hands "I think my Tequila's gone off."

"Maybe its because your sober enough to remember it tastes like cat piss!" Yuffie retorted through the door. Reno could just about imagine the smirk on his lover's face before he started to Yawn.

_Weird? _Reno thought to himself, _What did I do to make me so sleepy? _He had little time to wonder that as he fell on the couch, letting sleep claim him.

---

Reno woke up in what looked to be Yuffie's bedroom. He could tell because he managed to recall the ceiling drawings that Yuffie had made when bored or hyper, and in the rare occasions where he was with her and she didn't feel much like having sex at the time. He tried to move his arms only to find they were constrained by what felt like pieces of rope to the frame. His legs were similarly tied down he discovered as he tried to move them. His shirt and pants were no-where to be found.

_Yuffie REALLY must have been desperate to get kinky with me. Hell she probably thinks of it as payback for me seeing her tied up against that mountain/statue thing. _Reno thought as Yuffie came in wearing Black leather boots and a bustier. She looked like one of the girls from Reno's fetish magazines. "Couldn't wait to tie me up huh Yuffie?" He asked with a cocky grin.

"You could say that…" She whispered into his ear. However, the happy moment for Reno was interrupted by what sounded like a muffled scream coming from her closet. He scowled at the young woman looking down on him "Yuffie. What the hell is going on here? First I hear someone shout 'save me' on the phone and now you tie me up after drugging me!"

Yuffie's smile didn't falter once, in fact it had turned into something evil which caused Reno to start worrying about his own personal welfare "Put two and two together… pet." She said before cackling.

Reno's eyes went wide with fear from the realisation, he had just been collected.

---

**Ah, another chapter done. Hope you enjoy it and don't forget to leave a review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**The collector chapter 4... I think**

**A/N: Merry Christmas to all people out there. Now normally it would be the time for family etc. but for me I'm trying to avoid the barrage of Soaps that come on at this time of year by writing this. So more torture for Reno and Sephiroth!**

**Reno and Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Yuffie: YAY!**

**Me: With the possible inclusion of Vincent at a later chapter.**

**Yuffie: (Glomps me)**

**Me: I don't own Final Fantasy etc.**

**---**

Reno cringed as his soon to be mistress called him 'pet'. But it still left the question as to who was in the damn closet screeching for his (or her) release.

"Babe, your joking right. Please tell me this is just a kinky sex game!" The red-head pleaded, trying to convince himself that this wasn't what it seemed.

"What? You want me to tell you that I got a tape recording of a man screaming for help in the closet to get me in the mood?" She asked removing herself from the bed and walking over to the closet, "I wish. That pet just cost me a first class fucking session. Way to go Seph you little bitch! Just for that I'm going to have to think of completely new way of punishing the both of you!" She screamed towards the door.

"Oh no, oh no." Reno tried to steady his heart rate.

"So surprised to find he's back Reno? Well he's just not the same after Tifa was through with him…" Yuffie mused, removing her attire.

"Tifa?!" to say that Reno was shocked would be an understatement "You mean Tifa's gone through this with Sephiroth too?"

"I know! Who'd have thought it? Miss boobs, a dominatrix. Guess you never can tell!" She said cheerfully only serving to send Reno into a panic attack, flailing his arms as far as they could go in the situation they were in as a vain attempt to break free. "Don't struggle Turkey. It's only going to make it hurt more!" She said trying to calm him down.

"What… what are you gonna do to me?" He asked, his voice pitch increasing out of sheer terror at this crazed ninja's potential intentions. She quickly moved over to his lower body and started slapping around his member, each time creating its individual hiss of pain from the Turk.

"Hmm, not sure yet… first I gotta make sure that you don't run away from me but Sephy's already got the closet taken up and you won't fit under the bed. Ooh that reminds me!" The teen dived under the bed searching for her shuriken, pulling out the twin viper she tried to roll over Reno slightly but remembered that he was attached to the bed frame so she couldn't turn him over. Trying to expose his ass she managed to tilt him so that the left cheek was visible "Have to mark my territory." And with that she set about using the point to carve out the initials YK into the Turk's backside causing him to scream out in pain so loudly that she stuffed her panties into his mouth to shut the red-head up before turning back to the 'K'

---

A bald headed man in a dark blue suit and sunglasses was sitting in the corner of the café next morning trying to read the paper when he was approached by a familiar blonde women in the same colour suit.

"Hey Rude, seen Reno this morning?" Elena asked.

"No… haven't heard him since he left work yesterday." Rude replied after a long pause that was so often associated with him.

"Weird. Neither have I." she said before sitting down next to him. "The Wutai samurais beat the Edge Lions? Damn, guess I owe Tseng 90 gil."

"… You're worried about him." Rude said causing Elena to be startled, almost falling out of her chair.

"Well… of course I am! He's a co-worker and with the sightings of Sephiroth being back he might have… you know." Elena said defensively before dropping her gaze to the floor.

"If he's dead there would be some report. And if Sephiroth had returned, Cloud would have gone insane. He's probably hung-over somewhere."

"I'd still feel better if I knew where he was."

"… Do you have a…crush on him?" Rude asked, smirking slightly.

"WHAT!?" Elena screeched. "HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT!"

"You appear to be more concerned then if it was just as you said, concern for a co-worker." Elena's jaw hit the floor.

"…"

"Thought so."

"How did you manage to form so many complete sentences in a few minutes?"

"…"

---

Vincent Valentine's phone was ringing. This was not that unusual. He was used to being bombarded by calls and texts by Yuffie despite her involvement with Reno. He was beginning to suspect that the only reason she was with him at all was for the sex and to make him jealous. If that truly was her plan then it was failing miserably. Reno's involvement only deterred him more from the princess.

The ringing was beginning to annoy him, he picked it up expecting to find the caller I.D. Yuffie displayed but it only showed a number. "Hello?"

"…" There was just heavy breathing on the other end.

"Yuffie," he sighed "if this is some sort of practical joke its-"

"You're in grave danger…" Came the husky voice on the phone taking Vincent by surprise. His eyes widening he quickly put every fibre of his being on high alert.

"Get away from Edge… get away from civilization… get away from… _her._ Oh fuc-!" and the line was suddenly cut off leaving Vincent confused. Should he take the strangers warning? It sounded like he risked his own life to tell him this, or could it be a trick? And who was this _her_ the person was talking about. These were becoming dangerous times again for the gunslinger. As if it wasn't enough for him to have saved the world from deep ground and have a hyper-active ninja stalker. Now someone was threatening him.

It may be best to run after all.

---

**Review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**The collector**

**Part/Chapter (I'm not sure what I'm calling them now) 5**

**Okay I think I'm going to have to pull the plug on converging streams and Chaos control. Bottom line is, for those; I got nothing.**

**Anyway I think its time for Vincent to start running away, don't you? (Evil laugh)**

**---**

"I can't believe you did that to me!"

Thwack!

"Trying to get rid of my Vinny!"

Thwack!

"Just because of what I'm doing to you two!"

Thwack!

The best word to describe Yuffie at this moment is probably angry. Reno had managed to find his phone and told Vincent to get away from Edge. She wasn't even planning on giving the accused vampire any of the treatment she was currently dishing out to Sephiroth and Reno.

However, it did mean that if she was ever going to see Vincent Valentine again she had to act quick. She knew that Vincent would stop at the Seventh Heaven to get his survival kit. All Yuffie had to do was convince the antisocial gunslinger to allow her to tag along, or convince him that there was no threat to him or anyone he cared about. Either way it was going to be difficult.

Sealing Reno, who had just gone through part one of his punishment with the whip, away under the bed and making sure that Sephiroth wouldn't leave his hiding place in the cupboard, she changed out of her 'punishment gear' and into her regular clothes. Hoping that Vincent hadn't already been and gone she headed off to Tifa's bar.

---

Vincent was concerned over the phone call, someone who knew him (or at least his phone number) was in grave danger. He quickly called around the old Avalanche group to see if anyone had been taken. No-one was missing or injured. He hadn't checked up on Yuffie as her relationship with Reno offered her the protection of the Turks, not to mention the voice who phoned him was clearly masculine.

But still, who was it who warned him? And who was this her that the caller wanted him to get away from? Upon entering the Seventh Heaven his anxiety was quickly picked up by Tifa.

"What's wrong Vincent?" She asked while pouring a drink

"…"

"Vincent, we know you hardly ever speak, that's why we all tried to decode that poker face you hide behind. I _know_ that something is wrong so you might as well tell me." She huffed.

"I'd… prefer this talk to be in private." Vincent responded. Tifa motioned for Cloud to take over the bar while she led Vincent to the office, once there he scanned the room with his eyes for any bugs.

"So?"

"Early this morning I got a phone call. Someone was in danger and advised me to run away from Edge." Tifa was stunned by this, she had thought all the group's troubles would have been over by now.

"Who… who called you?" She managed.

"Not sure. There was nothing on the caller I.D. I tried tracing the call but that came up dry also."

"Did they say who was after you?"

"No, the only clue I received was that they told me to get away from 'her'." The phrase, 'speak of the devil and he shall appear' seems quite appropriate at this moment. As if on cue, Yuffie barged in through the front door.

"Hey spike! Vincent around?"

Without thinking much Cloud responded "In the office talking to Tifa." Yuffie gasped and Cloud raised an eyebrow at this.

"You don't think he's trying to… you know…" Yuffie said quickly.

"No."

"Okay, see you later spike!" And with that she headed off to the back. "HIYA VINNY" She shouted at the top of her lungs on arrival, receiving a death glare from both Tifa and Vincent "What? Am I interrupting something here?"

"Close the door Yuffie." Vincent commanded.

"So what's going on?"

"Yuffie, we think someone may be after Vincent." Tifa told her after the door was closed. Yuffie's eyes went wide in panic.

"You sure?"

"I received a rather unnerving phone call early this morning Yuffie. I don't know the sender but it was warning me that Edge wasn't safe." Most people in Yuffie's situation at this point would start worrying that they had been rumbled. However, when you are a hyper-active ninja. You start to laugh.

"...?"

"Yuffie, what is so funny? This is serious!" Tifa snapped.

"No it isn't, Reno sent you that message and I _know _where he was last night."

"…Why?" Vincent asked confused.

"Because he wants you to not try and muscle in on one of his girls. He's scared your going to take me away from him!" At this Tifa started laughing too.

"Talk about mister hypocrite, he fools around with about ten girls a month but as soon as another one moves in on one of his the guy acts like he wants exclusivity."

"Tell me about it." Yuffie agreed. Vincent sighed and left while Yuffie followed him out.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Can I stay with you for a little while?" She asked innocently.

"Yuffie. You are trying to be innocent. This means you are defiantly planning something and with your… well, I doubt all you had in mind was a friendly walk." Yuffie looked hurt

"Aww come on Vinnie! I'm not that bad am I?"

"No… you're not." her eyes lit up.

"Was that a complement?" She asked.

"…"

"Can you at least walk me back to my place?"

"Fine. But no more, we are… incompatible."

"You're no fun!"

---

Vincent woke up with a blindfold tied across his eyes. He was restrained against a wall by some form of metal alloy. Whoever had kidnapped him knew what they were doing and knew a lot about him too. Then a thought struck him, what had happened to Yuffie?

"Yuffie!" He shouted only to be shushed by someone.

"Don't worry Vince, I'm right here." Yuffie said soothingly running a hand across his cheek.

"What happened? Who kidnapped us? How did you escape?" All these questions came from a surge of relief, Yuffie was fine and always kept a weapon on her, everything was going to be fine. The two of them had gotten out of worse than this before.

"No sense in lying to you now Vinny. Welcome to my new pet club!"

_Pet club?_ Thought Vincent, _what does she mean by that?_

"Now hold still while I make sure that you're mine." She commanded, his eyes went wide beneath the blindfold.

_Oh fuck._

_---_

**Well Vampire boy is in big trouble now isn't he. Maybe Yuffie will go easy on him.**

**Sephiroth: Why wasn't I involved in this chapter?**

**Me: Do you like the treatment you get in these fics?**

**Sephiroth: No but…**

**Me: Then shut up.**

**Review please.**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Collector …um… part 6? It is 6 right?**

**Fucking writers block. I hate it so much. AGRH! Its affecting damn near all my other fics at the moment so that's why my updates have been a bit slow.**

**Anyways, on with the madness!**

**Oh if anyone says "Madness? This is SPARTAAAAA!!1!" prepare to have a foot lodged permanently in your brain. My foot. Seriously, all these 300 references and jokes have got to stop.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy seven, nor this Family Guy reference.**

**---**

**Simulation Over.**

_What? What does it mean 'Simulation over'? _Sephiroth thought to himself.

"Good to have you back with us man." Came a voice, one that belonged to Zack Fair.

"Do you think he's learnt his lesson now?" said another. This one belonging to Aeris Gainsborough.

"Zack? Aeris? What the fuck is going on?" Sephiroth asked, his voice raising.

"Well… Aeris thought you weren't fully back to the way you initially were so she decided it would be a good idea to scare the evil out of you. So she created a sort of simulation as to what might happen if you went back to Gaia still evil and shit."

"SHE DID WHAT?!"

"It was for your own good, you can't hurt anyone while you're here but you never seem to stay dead." Aeris said tartly, placing her hands on her hips. Looking proud at what she had achieved.

"So none of that shit ever happened? Me being revived, being captured by Tifa, the torture, the manipulate materia. Being handed over to Yuffie, are you telling me that it never happened?" Sephiroth was trying to cope with all of this at once, the green swirly lights didn't help matters.

"Yeah, kind of." Zack responded

"So it was all just a dream."

"No, it was a simulation." Aeris corrected

"But it didn't mean anything apart from me now being slightly scared of women."

"So you won't cause havoc if you return to the plane of the living again."

"But what if, some fan fiction author put all of that, from the Tifa beatings to the Yuffie incident, together into his highest hit count story. Wouldn't it seem like a giant middle finger to all of his loyal readers and reviewers?" Sephiroth asked, he just couldn't believe it, those whips and chains had felt so realistic.

"Come on Seph, like that would ever happen. And if it did, just be glad it didn't end like the Soprano's where they cut people off mid sent-"

---

Sephiroth's eyes snapped open, he was back in the cupboard, bound in place. _Oh for fuck's sake! _he thought, cursing his own imagination for making him think it was all a dream made by a spiteful flower girl. He had only stabbed her, it wasn't like he had destroyed her home town or hunted Aeris for use as a science experiment..

He banged his head against the door only for it to be opened by his angry mistress.

"Shut it Sephiroth, or do you want to share a spot with Reno? Nude." He shook his head violently and Yuffie let out a sigh before closing the door to the cupboard.

"Yuffie… you have to stop this." Came the voice from the man currently occupying the table. It was laced with fear.

"Aww, I'm not going to hurt you that much Vinny. I'm just going to molest your hot, swoon worthy body while wrapping your sexy cape around us! It'll be like a dream come true for me." She said in a dream like state, running her fingers up and down Vincent's chest.

"…My cape's sexy?" He asked, trying to regain his composure as Yuffie mounted him, pressing her thigh against his erection.

"Silly Vinny, you don't know just how desirable you really are. I bet Tifa was trying to hold herself back from jumping your bones whenever the two of you were alone together. Although I can see why she went for Cloud, chocobo head does have the sexiest set of abs." Yuffie mused, positioning herself.

"Yuffie… don't. This has gone too far." he pleaded.

"But you do want it, Vincent Valentine." she whispered seductivley.

"…No!"

"What's pressing against my legs says otherwise." She said in a sing song voice, her lips starting to assault his neck.

"Yuffie…" He groaned, trying to ignore all his urges.

"Come on Vincent, play ball here! Its perfect, I get your drool worthy body, we both get fantastic sex, and best of all you can't hurt me like this because…" she whispered softly into his ear; "…I do the hurting around here." She still had the look of a maniac about her, and he had no interest in being raped. The pain of the scar from her Conformer still etched in his mind like the initials in his backside.

"Yuffie…"

"Gawd Vinny, one more groan of displeasure or 'please don't ' out of you and I'll slap a gag on your mouth. If I got any left." She said, slightly annoyed at his unwillingness to co-operate. She knew how to remedy that though.

Diving off the table she grabbed hold of his erect member and put it to her lips. It wasn't the first time she had given a man head and so knew exactly what she was doing, letting her mouth lay claim to it, applying just the right amount of pressure to get him really worked up. The moans and groans emitted showed that he was having second thoughts about his earlier decision. Yuffie smirked before pulling away.

"Why… why did you stop?" Vincent rasped.

"Because otherwise I won't get to have as much fun myself of course." Yuffie answered. She returned to mounting him before quickly remembering something.

"Almost forgot the cape!" She squealed before dashing off to get Vincent's trademark red cape. And possibly to hurt Reno or Sephiroth on the way to keep herself horny.

---

**Its been a fairly long time since this was updated I know. That initial bit was just all Sephiroth's mind playing tricks on him if your still confused. And if you still are completely confounded by this turn of events then review with your questions and I'll try to answer them. If you know what's going on, review anyway.**


	7. Chapter 7

**The Collector**

**Chapter 7**

**I HATE WRITERS BLOCK! (Goes nuts and throws a random chair at non-reviewers). The review lot for this fic has dried up substantially. Where I was getting around 4 reviews per chapter I'm getting only 1 now (thank you Mystic). However, there are 5 people who have this on alert and ten people who have me on alert. I should probably have more reviews than this. The maximum I have for any story is 47 and that had 17 chapters.**

**Anyway, rant over. I don't know why I wrote that, I should be in a good mood today.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the weird and twisted plot.**

**---**

Things were becoming a bit more than a co-incidence for Tifa. Ever since she delivered Sephiroth to her she was seeing less and less of the ninja. She used to pop round every few days to annoy Cloud, play with the kids (although this was something Tifa wasn't as keen on, although they knew a large variety of curse words thanks to Cid and Barret, there were some things she didn't want to have to explain to Marlene and Denzel for at least 8 years).

That and no-one had seen Reno for weeks apart from Yuffie. And that was it. Apart from her word the red-head had disappeared without a trace, even the Turks were starting to become concerned.

Vincent was last seen with Yuffie, and now he was gone. All these disappearing acts have one common link. The proclaimed 'White Rose of Wutai'.

_She wouldn't have, would she? I mean even I have to admit that naked Sephiroth made me drool a bit slightly but she wouldn't go collecting people to fill her fan-girlish desires. _Tifa thought to herself. Sephiroth was one thing, he deserved it, and in someway, so did Reno. Hell, the Turk probably _likes _it. But Vincent?

---

An evil cackle was heard in Yuffie's apartment. It was a fan girl's dream. Reno, Sephiroth and Vincent Valentine, all bound up and forced to live through her every sexual fantasy.

But it wasn't enough, there was one person missing. Just one person and it would all be complete.

Just one.

Cloud Strife.

But how to get him was the question. There was no way Tifa was going to hand him over like she did to Sephiroth, she was way too protective of her personal man-candy. However, with the right bait he could be lured out into the open, he would be fully alert but it should be simple enough to knock him out with something.

_Bait hmm… I think I know just what to use. _She thought, a smirk gracing her lips.

---

'_Umm is this a bad time?' _Said a voice inside of Sephiroth's head. Although Yuffie had two other slaves to molest, he had borne the brunt of her vicious assaults and her favourite to torture. Dried blood trails criss-crossed his body and his head was ringing, he was starting to hear voices. _'Seph, it's me Zack! Wake up!'_

"Za…Zack?" He coughed out.

'_Shit, you really are in a mess this time. And I got a feeling this is only gonna get worse.'_

"Wha…?"

'_Shh… do you want "her" to know you're awake? Listen, I can read your mind and I'm getting a mixture of sheer hotness and just psychotic women.'_

_Why are you contacting me? _Sephiroth thought. He must be hallucinating from all the pain.

'_Look, some nasty shit was in the Lifestream, it got out, and took you with it, without completing the "Zack and Aeris guide to villain rehabilitation". Yeah, that whole thing didn't work to well, did it?' _Zack commented

_Rehabilitation?_

'_What, she knock out all your memories of time in the life stream? Okay Sephiroth, you may not believe me when I say this, but the people who tortured you were not Tifa Lockheart and Yuffie Kisa… whatever. The point is that they were both possessed by what escaped from the life stream and it turned them both into sexy sadists.' _Zack tried to explain.

_I get the sadist part, but the sexy?_

'_Did you not _SEE _those breasts on Tifa? I mean, you and me have made our fare share of scores but damn. She was in D's and miniskirts back in Niebleheim.'_

'_ZACK FAIR!' _called a new voice, distinctly feminine and an angry one at that.

'_Shit, I'm in the metaphorical dog-house for that one aren't I.' _And with that, Zack's presence faded away.

_Aeris? You're here too? _Sephiroth thought to himself, movement was heard outside of his 'storage' area. Making him nervous to the possibility that Yuffie required him again.

'_Yes Sephiroth I am. And I'm very disappointed in you.' _The mental image Sephiroth got was of Aeris tapping her foot impatiently with her arms folded.

_What? Why?_

'_Well this is partially your fault…'_

_Okay. Enough of this, I'm chained up in a closet by a hyperactive dominatrix who is going around collecting people and this is MY fault? _These two spirits had been conversing with him for a fair time and he still hadn't figured out what was going on.

'_Well if you hadn't gone after Tifa then this whole thing could have been avoided.'_

_What?_

'_Yuffie is possessed by a fan girl Sephiroth, a fan girl!'_

_What?! _Sephiroth unintentionally shuddered. Fan-girls were fine up to a point where they start hunting you down and making Yaoi fan-fictions.

'_Originally she was a Sephiroth fan girl from Nieblehem, but when Jenova influenced you she survived to become one of Hojo's experiments. She was injected with Jenova cells much like Cloud and she died in the whirlwind maze at north crater. However, her obsession about you kind of combined with what remained of Jenova's will and she became a parasitic being. When she escaped she was only in her primary phase with Tifa. If she didn't contact you it wouldn't develop and would be sent back into the life stream. Are you keeping up with this?' _Aeris asked, trying to see if Sephiroth was still conscious enough to pay attention.

_Vaguely. _Sephiroth replied.

'_Anyway, she became more vicious in Tifa, her natural hatred of what you did to her and her loved ones all those years ago… the fan girl fed on that hatred and it made it stronger. Every manipulation, every punch, every whip. It got stronger. However Cloud was a limiting factor to it. So it implanted the idea into Tifa's head that you would be better off with Yuffie. The fan-parasite transferred to her, who didn't have a limiting factor and it grew stronger, enough to try and collect other men who could also be considered "cream worthy". Its only a matter of time before every male in the world is collected by her.'_

_Shit. How do I stop it? _Sephiroth asked

'_Whoa Seph, what gave you the idea you could stop it? We were just filling ya in.' _Zack had apparently returned.

_Thanks a lot Zack, you bastard._

'_I can still hear you thoughts.'_

_Bastard! _Sephiroth screamed in his head. There was a time and a place for Zack to be cocky around him. This was neither. But if he couldn't stop the fan-parasite. Who could?

---

**Well that was a long one. A fair bit of explanation to Tifa and Yuffie's actions. Please review. Sorry for the little rant earlier.**


	8. Chapter 8

**The Collector**

**Chapter 8**

**Wow. I'm actually starting to complete fics now. That's a rarity. Not that this is the last chapter by no means is it the last, but we are drawing to a close here.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Quit rubbing it in my face.**

**---**

_Okay, let me try and explain my situation a little better so that I finally actually get it myself. Back when Jenova first tried to influence me, I burnt down a town. Damn that was fun. It wasn't just that weird alien space god that made everyone think I had an Oedipus complex who was in control. I had some degree of influence. Well if you were an orphan raised in the labs, to find that the person who was the only thing I could discern as family at the time was in a rector tube, you'd be pretty damn pissed off at the world too._

_I bet even the puppet would have gone nuts if that had happened to him. Nah, he would have just turned even more emo._

_The fucktard._

_Where was I? Oh right, so Jenova and me fight for control, she gets killed, I think world is all mine and I don't have to share then boom! I get killed._

_About two years later there were the remnants of Jenova's will that turned into me. Tried killing the puppet. He killed me again. Zack seriously needs to stop letting him steal his best moves. It screams gimmick infringement. Well it was for quite a long time._

_Then that Centra decides that since I don't stay dead for long periods at a time. She took it upon herself to try and get all the evil world destroying nature out of my system. Fat chance._

_The world's a bitch to me so I'm a bastard to it. Its only fair._

_Unfortunately in my latest set of plans I failed take into account something that is threatening my own life, and that of most well known males. It's a good thing Zack's dead for a couple of reasons. One, although he's in my mind he can't tell what I look like currently through lack of an ability to move my head, that would be an embarrassing scenario to say the least._

_Two, he has to put up with Aeris now. She's normally sweet an innocent but she does have quite the jealous streak. And with Zack's many conquests he is in the life stream equivalent of the doghouse._

'_Actually Seph that's not quite true.'_

_Zack?_

'_Yeah, the thing is she has me on a leash now.'_

_Zack, that is a disturbing mental imagery and I will now have to spend the next thirty minutes erasing it from my mind instead of the continuation of my internal monologue._

…

_Ah, silence. How I've missed you._

_Anyway the spirit of a now deceased fan-girl is running amok in Yuffie's body. Well first it was in Tifa's body. Well the point is that its now in Yuffie's body and is collecting males for her pleasure. I doubt she'll be satisfied with just the three she has now. Me, Reno and Vincent. Yuffie has always been obsessive about the things she wants. Or at least that's what Aeris told me. _

_I pity the next poor sap who's on her list._

_---_

Cloud had just finished his delivery rounds. All he wanted now was to just go home, the constant noise of Edge traffic was driving him insane. Tifa would be getting worried about him. He'd done enough of that before. However something was definitely off today and he couldn't help feel that he was being watched, and not in the good 'always looking out for you in a spiritual' kind of way. The bad way.

His suspicions were confirmed when just out in front of him, a silver hair and a black feather dropped down from the skies. Cloud screeched his bike to a halt at the side of the road and growled the name "Sephiroth."

Doing a complete U-turn he sped back against the wind, the direction the feather and hair had to be blown from. He knew Sephiroth was still out there, just he would have thought Tifa's performance would have put a bit more fear of him and his family into the madman.

A trail had been laid out for him it seemed, the black feathers dropped effortlessly into a trail leading out of Edge and towards a small forest. Parking Fenrir outside, he drew his sword and charged in.

"Sephiroth! Show yourself you coward!" He yelled out but got no response, not even a rustling of leaves to identify his presence. Cloud wasn't convinced though, he searched the area for a while before hearing a muffled scream from inside the woods.

He rushed to the source, sword drawn and found Yuffie, tied to a tree trunk and gagged. He quickly went to help her escape from this.

"Yuffie! You going to be okay?"

"Yeah…" She coughed out after Cloud removed the gag.

"Where is he?"

"He said…" Yuffie tried racking her brains for an explanation "something about playing games." She said finally.

"What sort of games?"

"I dunno but he said he was going to play them with _her_."

Cloud's mind was going a mile a minute, her meant that Sephiroth was after…

"Tifa!" He shouted. To him it was all part of Sephiroth's plan, keep him and Tifa apart long enough so he could do whatever the hell he wanted. He quickly reached for his phone and pressed 1 on the speed dial.

"Hello, Cloud Strife delivery service." Was Tifa's reply on the other end, Cloud breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey Teef."

"Oh hey Cloud! Where are you?"

"We got problems Teef, I think Sephiroth's after you again." Cloud said as Yuffie got back to her feet and rummaged around to find her possessions.

"Really? Doesn't he know that he's going to get his ass kicked?"

"Apparently not. Look, I've got Yuffie here who's been tied up and gagged by him but no sign of his presence other than feathers and hair," Cloud could hear Tifa gasp on the other end. "I just want to make sure that you'll be ready for anything."

"Okay, thanks for the warning Cloud." She hung up quickly.

"Yuffie? You okay?" Cloud asked, turning around to find she had gone. Sighing he placed his sword on the set up on his back "Damn Ninja. She's gonna get herself really hurt one of these days."

Yuffie spotted her opportunity, jumping from branch to branch she got in range and threw a small dart at the back of Cloud's neck. He instantly went to grab it and pull it out but it was too late. Cloud's world suddenly fell away from him as he blacked out.

---

He woke up in a daze. He didn't know what had hit him back in the forest but whatever it was, it was a very strong Tranquilizer. As soon as his mouth could respond to his commands he hissed the words out "Sephiroth… you bastard."

"He's in the closet. And no that's not a joke." Was the reply, although it was a little hoarse it was unmistakably Reno's.

"Reno? What the?"

"Hey don't blame me here Strife. We're both in the same situation. Only she's gonna pay extra attention to you because you're the latest addition."

"Who… are you talking about."

"Cloud. Yuffie has kidnapped us." Came another voice, the one belonging to Vincent Valentine. "Or should I say, _collected_ us."

Cloud's jaw hit the floor. His own friend, the childish Yuffie had kidnapped him?

"What?!" He shouted.

"Shhh… she's finally sleeping and you don't want to wake her up."

"I'm already up." Said a high pitched voice. Yuffie walked directly over to Cloud, grabbing his jaw and smirking.

"Why Yuffie? Why would you do this to me?" Cloud said.

"Because I have certain needs and wants chocobo-head. And currently, having you as my pet is top of that list."

---

**Wow this took a long time to write. Hope you appreciated it. And don't forget to leave a review all the people who have put this on their alert list and/or put me on their Author alert list.**


	9. Conclusion and Closure

**The Collector**

**Chapter 9**

**Looks like Yuffie's got everything she could dream of right now… or has she? This is the thrilling conclusion to this story. Also added an extra something in the AU down the bottom. But don't skip this chapter to go look at it now.**

**Also this is an extra long chapter, aren't you people lucky?**

**---**

"Pick up Cloud…" Tifa tried willing the phone to stop ringing and actually hear his voice. No such luck.

"Damn it!" She screamed, throwing the phone across the bar. If he was going to be really late, he would have called again. Now it was nearly midnight and still no sign of the blonde swordsman. Seeing that it was still useable she quickly dialled in another number, Yuffie's number. Since the last conversation she and Cloud had was about him, she should know something right. Right?

---

The phone ringing caught Yuffie completely off guard, causing her to stumble backwards onto her scantily clad ass. Cursing at it, she placed a gag on Cloud.

"I'll continue your initiation later." She said sternly, before bounding over towards the phone. "Hello? Yuffie's palace in Edge here."

"Hi Yuffie." Was Tifa's response from the other end, the ninja paled instantly.

"H- Hey Teef!" She said nervously, trying to calm herself down, looking back to check whether or not the gag was securely enough placed on Cloud.

"Listen, did Sephiroth escape from you?" There was a trace of panic in her voice.

"No… why?"

"Because Cloud called me, something about him being back."

"Its… probably just one of his…um… remnant… clone things that Cloud beat last time." She said nervously, but mentally noting that if he got revived as well, Kadaj would also have to join the Kisaragi pet club.

"Really… Okay thanks Yuff, I'll see you around." Tifa hung up, Yuffie exhaled. Turning back to the bedroom where Cloud was stretched vertically. She regained her composure and picked up her riding crop.

"Now where were we mister Strife?" She asked him rhetorically, taking in the sight.

"Mmph!"

"Oh yes, that's right Cloud. Time to test out that piece of meat of yours." She said seductively, letting her hands caress his chest. Feeling the scars from battles she worked her way down.

He knew that this foreplay wasn't done for his pleasure. Only one of them would be satisfied at the end and it sure wouldn't be anyone with YK engraved in their backside. She eventually reached his member, stroking it at first before giving it a forceful tug. "Oh yes, I'm so gonna enjoy this." She said, slinging her legs around him.

---

There was definitely something up. Tifa just didn't know what it was yet.

_Okay, calm. First what do you know? Well it all started when Sephiroth was revived _again_. Tortured him, handed him over to Yuffie, then what? _She thought to herself, trying to piece together what she knew.

_Soon after that, Reno disappeared. Yuffie said he was with her after Vincent got a disturbing phone call. Then Vincent disappears. Along with his sexy cape. Wait? Did I say his cape was sexy? Well it does add to the dark and mysterious look I guess but I've got Cloud so I can't be fantasising about Vincent. Hmm… wonder what he'd look like with a cape._

_Okay girl get back on track now. So Vincent disappears, not that its completely unlike him, he occasionally likes to disappear and brood for awhile. Still don't know why he's still brooding after all these years… FOCUS DAMN IT!_

_Then Cloud calls me, saying something about Sephiroth being back. Now he's gone but Yuffie says that Sephiroth hadn't left her… wait a minute._

It all started to fall together, Yuffie had control over Sephiroth. Yuffie had made up the excuse as to where Reno was. Yuffie was the last person to see Vincent… and the only reason Cloud would think Sephiroth was out to get him was if there was some evidence, like a black feather from his wing or something, something which Yuffie could easily take off the former General.

_Oh no she didn't._

She reached for her phone again and scanned the contacts list.

"Hey Barret, could you come look after Marlene and Denzel right now. I have some business that needs to be taken care of."

"Do you know what fucking time it is Teef!"

"Yes Barret but its an emergency, I need to go save Cloud." She pleaded with the man on the other end of the line.

"Why? Spikey got himself in a tonberry nest?"

"No… just… just trust me on this one Barret. I need you to take care of the kids."

"Fine, go save the fucktard. And don't forget to punch the shit out of him when you do rescue him."

"Thanks. You've got a key to let yourself in with right?"

"Yeah."

"Then you can let yourself in. I'm leaving now."

"Wait! Teef!"

She hung up and headed up the stairs, no doubt Yuffie would have a stash of weapons somewhere in her apartment. She'd better take some form of armour, even if it was around five years since the last time she actually worn it.

---

"Wow… you may not be the biggest here Cloud but, mmm. So good." Yuffie said dreamily, easing herself off Cloud. She was about to check on her other pets until she received a knock on the door.

_Shit! _she cursed mentally. She quickly dived for a towel and wrapped it around herself, trying to ignore the fact that her legs had gone slightly numb from all the sex. "Just a minute!" She shouted to the door. The knocking only became more impatient. "Fine, I'm coming you god dam… do you have any idea what time it is?" She swung open the door, her jaw dropped.

_Fuck no._

Tifa was standing there in front of her, with an angry expression on her face, gloves on hands and a small piece of armour, covering her left arm. Yuffie paled and the sight, turned and tried to dive towards the bedroom.

Tifa sped after her, fist raised and ready to strike. Yuffie had scrambled in and locked the door. It was only a light door and showed little resistance as Tifa kicked it off its hinges. Now it was the bartender's turn to stare. This time at her naked lover, chained and gagged.

"So you've found him." Yuffie said, revealing herself from the shadows of the room, shuriken in hand.

"Yuffie… what have you done. Sephiroth was one thing but…this is madness!"

"Madness?" She asked, dropping into a fighting position. Tifa followed suit, not taking one eye of the oversized metal weapon in her hand. "This is my collection!" She yelled. Throwing her shuriken and the fist fighter, there was no room in the room to dodge it. She would have to time it right and get very lucky. She waited until it was just about to hit her, moved to the side slightly, and grabbed the weapon. Stabbing it into the floor. However Yuffie was already charging towards her, a low kick took her by surprise and she fell back when the ninja followed it up with a powerful punch across her face.

Tifa's lip was now bleeding slightly, the taste of blood in her mouth she charged at Yuffie. Parrying another attempt to take out a leg. She punched her in the gut, causing her to stagger back into a wall.

"No-one is going to take them away from me." Yuffie said, rage in her eyes as she jumped up, using Cloud as an extra wall, kicked off him to launch herself at Tifa. The two women both fell to the floor struggling for control. The bartender managed to get them both back to their feet and slammed her opponent against the wall. Yuffie countered by poking her in the eye. Tifa screamed out as she lost her vision momentarily, letting Yuffie claw away her shirt. Slightly blurred Tifa tried punching the ninja but she was too fast. Utilising the wooden bean in the roof she swung herself in an arch. Her feet connecting with Tifa's head, almost sending her onto the shuriken in the floor.

Picking herself up she saw that Yuffie was trying to pull her Shuriken back out of the floor. Sensing an opportunity she send a back spin kick to the temple, sending Yuffie flying over. Landing in a heap. Yuffie was clearly shaken by that kick as she grasped her head in pain. Trying to shake it off. When she had, she dived straight for the throat of Tifa. It was a clumsy move. She ducked under the attempt, grabbed the ninja and brought her stomach directly onto her knee. Sending her sprawling across the floor. Possibly knocked out.

"I'm sorry Yuffie, but you went way to far." Tifa said shaking her head and turning to Cloud. Removing the gag, and undoing the binds he fell onto her shirtless form. "You okay big guy?" She asked, stroking his back.

"Yeah…" He said in between gasping for breath. "What happened to Yuffie?" He asked, and as if on cue a blue light enveloped the ninja as a ghostly form rose from it.

"You…" It hissed, it was clearly a female ghost, her hair seemed to take on a blue tinge "You big chest whore! You've ruined everything! My revenge was almost complete! And you," she focused on Cloud "You brought her here. You and your damn flower girl. It was almost complete." She hissed.

"Cloud? What the hell is that?" Asked Tifa, now facing the ghost.

"Mark my words you will all regret the day when you messed with me. All the world shall remember the name Mary Sue!" She screamed before fading away in a manic laughter.

"ugh…" Was the noise from the floor. Both Cloud and Tifa looked down to see Yuffie was coming to. "My head… what the hell happened? Cloud? Tifa? What are you two doing here and why are you nude Cloud?" She asked, she looked at herself and screamed. "EEEEK!" She dived for the bedroom.

Tifa turned to Cloud. "I think you better put some clothes on Cloud," her smile turned into a thoughtful expression. "What the hell happened to Yuffie and what was that Mary Sue thing?" She asked, a muffled response was heard from the cupboard. Tifa walked over to it and opened the door. Sephiroth was strung up, almost as he was in Tifa's possession. Trusting that the One Winged Angel was too scared shitless by all that had happened to put up a fight she ripped the gag off. He was panting.

"Okay…" gasp "I… think…I can explain everything." He then continued to tell Tifa about the fan-girl that he had killed, flinching as her expression turned angry but allowed a small amount of relief to show when he mentioned that it had possessed her first, making her step back and gasp at the prospect.

"Hey don't forget about me yo!" Shouted a familiar voice from underneath the bed.

"Reno?" Tifa asked, rushing to free what remained of the possessed Yuffie's collection.

"Wow. If this is what I get greeted to when freed from this kinda shit I'd find myself in a lot more of these situations." Reno joked, leering at the shirtless Tifa, she immediately slapped him so hard that he spun around, facing the other way. "Where'd they go?" He asked.

"All that leaves is Vincent now." Cloud said, wrapping a towel around his mid-section.

"Where is he?" A scream from the bathroom came, Tifa rushed to the scene to find still naked Yuffie staring at a hogtied Vincent in the shower.

"Tifa… what the fuck is going on?"

"it's a long story…" Tifa sighed, she'd have a lot of explaining to do before the night is done.

---

Akalara Forrest, rookie Turk was currently trying to relax and unwind in her apartment, Azrael was asleep and she had drunk way too much coffee and was now counterbalancing it with alcohol. It was gone midnight which was why she nearly jumped ten feet in the air (the ceiling would have gotten in the way though) when a knock at the door was heard.

9mm pistol drawn she opened the door slowly, scanning for any potential threats. All she found was a box with a note attached.

_Akalara,_

_Hope its not a bad time or anything but I'd thought I'd drop you a present. Inside you'll find all the things you need to take care of him._

_Tifa_

_P.S. You may need those, he still hasn't fully gotten over his 'Evil' phase._

She was confused, it sounded like Tifa was giving her a puppy, and she already had Zexion, so what was in the box. Not stowing away her weapon she quickly opened it. Her eyes went wide, she squealed out of joy.

Sephiroth had been delivered direct to her door! A little bruised and with a gag over his mouth but it was her dream come true, she pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She wasn't.

She pulled the large package inside and pulled Sephiroth out then her eyes caught onto something else. Something long, hard and black. A riding crop.

She gave the former general an evil smirk, now glad to be given a temporary bout of insomnia, for what she had planned she was going to need it.

_---_

**Complete! I'd like to thank Mystic Spiritus for the name of the fan girl, I hope Dantesdarkqueen's not too mad at me for using her characters but oh well.**

**Also big shout out to all of those who reviewed and added this story to their alert/favourite list. You people rock!**


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